Confidence evades all of us at various times of our lives - usually when we are about to embark on something new and different. I have met the most accomplished people who tell me they do not move forward in one or more areas of their life because of a lack of confidence. When I began coaching I quickly learned this was a real problem for high performers. Why? Because they are constantly reaching for things that live outside their comfort zone and (as we all know) it's really difficult to feel confident about something you have never done before.
Right back at the beginning of my business, I decided to create a free online tool that my community could use to start moving towards their goals and aspirations. Easy right? Um, no not for me.
The first time I created an online product for my business I have to admit, it was hard. I spent a lot of time and energy designing it, physically creating it and getting it online (Facebook and my website). As I hadn’t done this before it was challenging and Google and YouTube got quite the workout.
As you can imagine, I went through a whirlwind of emotions. Confusion, frustration, happiness followed by downright “superhero-dom” when I got something right! Then frustration and confusion again when I moved onto the next task.
WHEN WE WANT TO CREATE SOMETHING NEW IN OUR LIVES, CHANGE IS REQUIRED. THIS OFTEN MEANS WE HAVE TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW - EITHER A SKILL OR HABIT OR EVEN A NEW MINDSET.
CHANGE CAN BE CHALLENGING AND TRYING NEW THINGS CAN TAKE A KNOCK TO YOUR CONFIDENCE.
We gain confidence in a task when we repeat it over and over again. When you first learned to ride a bike did you jump on straight away and go whizzing down the road? I will assume you did not. I will make a very learned assumption there were a few small (or even large!) spills along the way.
Do you remember learning to drive and how foreign and confusing it seemed? For those of us who have been driving cars for a while, we do this NOW almost without thinking. How many times have you driven somewhere and realised you don’t even remember the journey as your mind was thinking of other things?
We get proficient (and thus confident) at things when we practice them repeatedly.
BUT HOW DO YOU FEEL CONFIDENT WHEN REACHING FOR SOMETHING NEW OR DIFFERENT, OR BIGGER AND BOLDER THAN EVER BEFORE?
Whenever I felt my confidence waning, usually around the technical side of my business, I remember two things:
1. Our current generation has more information available to us than ever before. You can find out how to do almost anything on the internet. If you know how to use a search engine such as Google you’re halfway there and;
2. IKEA furniture (I bet you weren’t expecting that)!
How does thinking of IKEA furniture boost my confidence? A few years ago two colleagues and I found ourselves in a situation where we were required to assemble nearly one dozen flat packed IKEA cupboards for our employer. For those who have never had the challenge of putting together some “deconstructed” furniture imagine a battle between yourself, an allen key, a screwdriver (and sometimes a hammer) and the instructions.
So there we were standing in our brand new store staring at a pile of boxes which housed large pieces of timber, screws and handles. Without boring you with too much detail, we put on some music and got to work. The first one took us 45 minutes to assemble! 45 minutes of head scratching, discussion, debates and much trial and error. But as we moved through them we worked out the best method of assembly and more importantly, grew more confident as each cupboard took shape. The last one took 7 minutes.
WHAT IS THE 'SECRET' TO OOZING POISE AND CONFIDENCE?
1. Plan for the event/situation. The more prepared we are, the more confident we feel.
2. Recall a time you moved towards something new or different and succeeded!
3. Roll up your proverbial sleeves and take that first step - no matter how tiny that step is. Then another and another. There may be some slip ups long the way, but if you stay on the path you will be moving towards your goal AND creating more confidence in the process.
Next time you are creating change in your life by moving out of your comfort zone (with that blind date, work presentation, new business, elite event or career promotion) and you feel your confidence starting to wane; remember a time you pushed through, practiced, repeated and became truly confident in something.
What is your "IKEA" furniture?
Hi and thanks for reading! My name is Janelle Ryan and I am a Personal Coach who helps elite performers create extraordinary lives.
Would you like to learn more about how YOU can ooze confidence in ANY situation? Even if you are not particularly feeling it?
Then join me, and others like you, for my TAKING IT SKY HIGH WORKSHOP in Melbourne in March 2018. In this workshop we focus on HOW to feel more confident and WHAT you are going to do with your increased confidence.
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