Recently I received an email from a past client who is a mum to two small boys, has just purchased her first business, handles all the household duties and operates her very own "mum's taxi". She has been separated from her husband for a while and is now embarking on a new, exciting romantic relationship. She is an incredibly dynamic woman with plenty of demands on her time.
She started the email with what she’s been up to, then asked “Janelle, can we really have it all?” WOW.
I stared at the question for a while. I’m sure she didn’t mean for it to have such a profound effect on me (or maybe she did) but I had to stop and really consider the meaning behind her question. Firstly, it suggests she is struggling with something right now and/or feeling overwhelmed, and I’m sure she come and see me to work it out, but it really is a big question.
It stuck in my mind all week. Can we really have it all? What is "all" anyway?
Is having it all a partner, kids, uplifting career or business, wealth, spirituality, social life and your health?
Is having it all being a stay home mum, attending soccer trials and art camps?
Is having it all foregoing being parents and travelling the world at will?
The truth is no one has a storybook perfect life. But what some have is an acceptance of their journey, peace with their current situation, openness to personal growth and a desire to learn and aspire for more.
Aspiring for more, or a desire to “have it all” is clarifying what you want to be, do or have next in your life, creating that vision and taking some practical steps to achieve it regardless of what everyone else around you is doing.
The first step in the process is working out what “having it all” means to you.
You can start by determining the values that are most important to you. This can be done on paper or there are some great online tools available. Our values are part of a gorgeous internal compass that leads us through life. When we attempt to do something that does not match our values it can create an uncomfortable feeling and we may find it difficult to achieve the goal or vision. When we move towards something aligned with our values it feels "right" and things just seem to fall into place.
Now you’ve determined your values, check in to see if you are living a life in line with them.
If you are happy with your current situation and status - great – put your arm around your version of Ms Having It All and pop the champagne.
If you find you is not living a life aligned with your values, why not? Are you being influenced by someone else’s values, or someone else’s version of success?
Sound like you? Then you may wish to create a new vision that honours your values. You can do this alone, with a friend or partner or a coach. Try to include every area in your life that you feel needs a bit of a revamp.
Once you’ve clarified some new goals, you can start taking some steps towards them. They don’t need to be giant steps, they can be baby ones. If you are truly honouring your values these actions should make you feel quite good. Keep moving forward, high five yourself along the way and pretty soon you’ll be “having it all” – your way!
So, yes I do believe you can “have it all”; the trick is being clear on what having it all means to you.
Hi and thanks for reading! My name is Janelle Ryan and I am an International Coach, Speaker, Author, Presenter and Amateur Video Maker who helps high performers create extraordinary lives. My clients include CEOs, executive leaders, business owners, entrepreneurs, Olympians and mums!
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TAKING IT SKY HIGH WEEKEND WORKSHOP
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