Why You Should Stop Putting Yourself Last.

April 12, 2018

Earlier this week myself and some amazing and inspiring high performers kicked off One Goal - my six month group coaching program.  After just ONE call these rock stars have already taken action towards their nominated goal.  This is going to be a wonderful ride and I cannot wait to see what they create for themselves over the next 6 months.

Purely by circumstance, and not design, every client in One Goal is a woman.  Women who have decided this is THEIR YEAR.  Women who have decided to put themselves first.  Women who have decided to spend six month immersed in a desire of their own - more clients for their business, more finances to support their family, more confidence, better physical and mental health and wellness. 

When I first moved in with Handsome Hubby in 2012, I became an instant mummy to two young children every second week.  The change in ME was instant and almost (alarmingly) undetectable.  Within days I was putting everyone else first and myself last - during meals, what was watched on TV, which games we played.  I would forget to buy things I liked from the supermarket because I was so focused on what everyone else liked.  I made their lunches for work and school every day, but not my own.  I started doing the majority of the housework and all the cooking.  My exercise regime fell away as I used time on the weekends to attend their sporting events.  I gained weight as I fell into their eating patterns and discarded my own.  I saw my friends less.

Before I continue, let's be clear - this is NOT a complaint.  Apparently there was something inside me - instinct or childhood conditioning (or maybe both) that led me to adopt the 'putting myself last' persona in the blink of an eye.  No-one forced me to do these things, and I actually received (and still do receive) a lot of gratitude for my actions.


But it's not sustainable.  Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.  It's not selfish and it doesn't mean you are an awful person. 

Here are three reasons why it's healthy to put yourself first.

1. EVERYTHING YOU DO NOT SAY, WILL COME OUT IN AN UGLIER WAY
If you are constantly doing things for others and nothing for yourself, it's natural that resentment will grow.  As much as we like to think we can push our emotions down inside, it's actually not possible (or healthy) long term.  If you try and ignore your feelings they will eventually arise in the form of anger, frustration, irritability or some good old passive aggressive behaviour which can cause damage to our relationships.  

 2. WHEN YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST, YOU'LL GIVE TO OTHERS MORE GENUINELY
As the hosties tell us on the plane, we have to put on our own oxygen masks first.  Good nutrition, time to move your body, sleep, play, creative problem solving and goal achievement contribute to happiness and wellness.  When you are feeling fulfilled with life, happy in yourself and filled with energy you are able to give to others from a place of pure and genuine joy.

3. NO ONE IS COMING TO RESCUE YOU
No one else can do this for you.  It's up to you to plan activities and downtime just for you.  And you never know - you just may set a great example for others around you.

 

Here are some tips that are easy to implement and have the power to make a huge difference TODAY:

1. 2 minute meditation (try using the free app called Insight for guided or timed meditations)
2. A walk around the block
3. A phone call to a friend
4. Eating more fruit and veggies
5. Going to bed 15 minutes earlier
6. Reading a fun book


Want to ramp it up a little more?

1. Go to a movie with a friend or alone
2. Spent a weekend away with friends or alone
3. Longer daily meditations
4. Immerse yourself in a regular hobby or active pursuit
5. Spend the day at a day spa
6. Join a course/program or work with a professional to help you find your voice, step into your power and shine your light out into the world.


Even more?

Consider joining me, Giovanna Cappozza (http://giovannacapozza.com/) and other amazing women (sorry guys, this one's for the ladies only) at our Thirsty Soul Bali Retreat in August.

Is Thirsty Soul it for you?  IF...

  • You've achieved a lot of your goals and have so far been very successful, professionally and personally

  • Everyone around you think you have it all, but it feels like you're at a crossroads, you're unfulfilled at your core

  • It's time to change some aspect of your life, move forward in a different direction - but you are unsure how or where?

  • You feel burnt out, bored or you're lacking inspiration in life or work

  • You feel like you're self sabotaging - falling into old unhealthy habits or taking up new ones

  • You're yearning for some time and space to breathe and a chance to seek guidance and gain clarity on next steps

  • You simply want to take time out to recharge and refocus your priorities

we'd love to hear from you.

CLICK HERE to schedule a call with either Giovanna or myself and we'll have a chat about whether or not this retreat is for you.  We have 4 places left.  

 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE

 

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