It is autumn in Melbourne, which is one of my favourite times of the year. The air is clear and crisp, the sun is shining and the footpaths are a sea of red, orange, yellow and brown leaves. It was 2.5 degrees on my run this morning and I couldn't have been happier.
Last weekend I found myself in an internal battle between my mind (ego and pride) and my body and spirit (my vessel and self love).
I was stuck in indecision and the discomfort was paralysing.
The problem? After a long and busy week I was finding it difficult to summon the energy to participate in the Puffing Billy Run on Sunday morning. For those who are not familiar with the run, the race route extends 13.5km through the hills and fern gullies of the picturesque Dandenong Ranges. It's hilly and exhausting and difficult (for me!) but I love it because the landscape is so gorgeous.
I was in turmoil on whether to listen to my mind and push through or listen to my body and stay home.
Pride and Ego were urging me on - "You've told people you're doing this - what will they think?" "You've paid for this - you can't just bail out." "You've trained so hard." "You are being pathetic - just suck it up and do it." "Everyone will think you're a wimp."
Overarching every reason why I SHOULD push through was the overwhelming "YOU'LL BE A FAILURE!"
Body and Spirit disagreed - "You are tired." "You need to rest." "You need to stop pushing yourself." "It doesn't matter what others think. And they will love you anyway." Overarching their reasons was "If you become ill, you are no good to anyone."
With the advice and support of a wonderful Health Coach I know (thanks, Sharon Leigh) I turned off the alarm and spent Sunday morning sleeping in.
I'd love to tell you that I was 100% content and happy in my decision. But that's not true. Pride and ego are still tap, tap, tapping away....."You would have been okay, you know." But they will give up eventually.
Do I still feel like a failure? Yes, I do.
But rather than this feeling taking on a negative or derogatory meaning, I prefer to use failure as a feedback tool.
Because after all - perceived failure is just feedback. Every time.
What is my feedback? I didn't look after myself in the lead up to the event. I didn't get enough sleep. I didn't give my nutrition enough attention. I probably shouldn't have scheduled a workshop the afternoon before.
I will take this feedback and do better next time.
And because life is all about learning, evolving and growth - I had another failure experience today - and it was professional, not personal. So what have I done? Grumbled at myself for 30 minutes, dusted off my notebook to write down everything I learned from this "failure" AND noted what I'll do differently next time. Oh, and then I emailed my Coach about it - he is a big fan of failing spectacularly.....getting up and failing some more.
Now I will let both these "failures" go.......
What is the last thing you think you FAILED at? What is the feedback?
If you'd like to learn more about Failure as Feedback, click on the video I've included in this post. It's one of my early ones - straight out of the archives - but the information is still beautifully relevant.
Speaking of workshops - I had a fantastic time at the Bring Your Vision to Life Workshop last Saturday. It attracted a group of amazing women who were all willing to share stories, be vulnerable and authentic and they were so, so supportive of each other. It was beautiful to be a part of.
The next workshop in the series is SMASH THROUGH SELF DOUBT in Melbourne on Saturday 27 May. In this workshop you'll learn where your self doubt comes from (you're not born with it) and how you can release the feeling for good. It is a process, but it is possible. You will also receive laser-focused live coaching (if you want it) and you'll meet a group of like-minded individuals.
Everything you want is so much closer than you think.
If you have a question for me, or a challenge you'd like to work through, I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to drop me a line via Facebook or email your question directly to me firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi and thanks for dropping by. My name is Janelle Ryan and I am a Personal Coach whose main passion is helping high performers get out of their own way, align their goals with their actions and create the life of their dreams.
If you would like to take some steps towards your OWN positive change, I invite you to download my free gift to you, Cloudy to Clear.
Cloudy to Clear is a 5 step action plan that will give you:
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