One of my goals for 2018 is to become stronger and fitter in my body. So I made my way to the gym and booked some time with a personal trainer to create a program for me. You know - new year/new you kind of thing. The trainer asked me plenty of questions about what I wanted to achieve (well,what I actually want to achieve is a washboard stomach whilst lying on the couch but apparently it doesn't work that way) and then sent me on my way.
One week later I was back to be shown my program. It was very daunting, but nothing I couldn't handle (or so I thought). I told the trainer I would do it twice to three times per week. And in the many times I've been to the gym since I received the program I haven't done it. Not once.
At first I told myself that I just wasn't 'inspired'. Then I told myself that it was too long and I didn't have time. Next it was that there were too many people on the machines. I found myself dodging the trainer when I saw her knowing she will ask me how the program is going and I don't want to lie to her (or embarrass myself or hurt her feelings).
Last week I sat myself down and forced myself to get really honest about what was going on. I've been going to gyms for over 20 years. I am not afraid of them. Right? WRONG! It came to me in a flash of clarity. No, I'm not scared of walking into the gym and spending 45 minutes on a cross trainer, speaking to no one. It became clear that I am TERRIFIED of doing the program because to do so made me VISIBLE! One exercise was to jump up, grab onto a bar and lift my knees to my chest - in pretty much the middle of the weight section. Another exercise was to get three different colours bands, wrap them between two poles and jump up and down on them (not an accurate description, but not the point). There was no hiding. I would have been laid bare - out there for all the other members to see. Realistically, I'm pretty sure no-one would care, but it was enough to stop me dead in my tracks.
I had to admit to myself that I was afraid of being seen. Afraid of being visible.
Even though I run regular workshops and create many videos that are open to public viewing.
Why do we all suffer from 'visibility fear' from time to time? Because visibility often makes us feel vulnerable. Our idea may be shot down in a meeting. The person we meet on a blind date may not like us. Taking the stage and showing the world what we, and our business, can do opens us up to possible ridicule. Walking into an audition or interview may result in rejection. Leading a team means making some tough calls which may make some people unhappy.
But so often, being visible is what lies between us and our next dream or goal.
What's the answer?
We prepare by creating a plan, building our resilience, cultivating our confidence and working through our own self doubt. And those of us who are serious get help in our quest (I will be signing up with the personal trainer for support).
Which is why I create programs and events that help you break through patterns of fear.
In February I'll be hosting the next Women Leading event in the series: Women Leading...Finance. Four more inspirational female leaders in their industry get visible (and vulnerable) by allowing members of the audience to ask them any question they like. They open up about their successes and their failures with honesty and candidness. Even if you don't work in finance, this is a valuable event for any woman with career aspirations.
Then in March I host the inaugural SKY HIGH COACHING FULLY COMPREHENSIVE WEEKEND! One third of the seats have been filled. Come and join a warm and welcoming community. We will be spending an entire weekend showing you how to GET VISIBLE in all areas of your life.
April sees the next round of my group coaching boutique salon, ONE GOAL. One Goal is a six month program for high performers who are ready to spend six months making one "impossible" goal come to life. This is online group coaching (you can be anywhere in the world) so is ideal for those who love collaboration and team support. With no place to hide, you'll be forced to be VISIBLE. Places have already been filled but we still have some left - applications are still open.
In August my retreat partner, Giovanna Capozza, and I will be hosting 12 wonderful women in the lush mountains of BALI. As someone who has personally experienced the healing and spiritual power of Bali, I cannot wait to return and share it with others. I returned from my last visit feeling reconnected and truly comfortable being VISIBLE me to all around me. I can't wait to feel that way again. There are more details below.
As always, if you have any questions for me I am happy to answer them in my next article or video. Just email me email@example.com and ask away.
Until next time, don't be afraid to be visible.