Over the past few years the world has been taken by storm by reality TV shows. Our screens are inundated with people looking for love, creating intricate dishes in the kitchen, baking and decorating elaborate cakes, restoring homes, choosing wedding dresses, swapping husbands, losing weight, singing, dancing, creating the ultimate tattoo – it’s too long a list to mention them all!
I have very little interest in those who are searching for five minutes of fame, BUT I am so inspired by the others – those who are genuinely ‘chasing a dream’ – a dream that requires some skill. I am completely in awe of these people.
I am in awe of them because they have courage. Courage to be VISIBLE on a scale that most people wouldn’t dare.
Not only do they open themselves up to criticism by ‘world acclaimed’ judges, they open themselves up to criticism from the public. On the 31 May Masterchef Australia 2018 had 845,000 viewers (https://tvtonight.com.au/category/ratings).
When was the last time you performed your professional role or your hobby in front of 845,000 people, then stood by whilst they critiqued you?
I certainly haven’t.
And what about elite athletes? They train, sacrifice, sustain injuries, make comebacks, win and lose under the watchful eye of their city, state, country and sometimes the world.
Actors come under the same scrutiny.
Let me ask you some other questions. When was the last time you were too nervous to hit ‘publish’ on your blog? When was the last time you stayed silent in a meeting? When was the last time you skirted around the outsides of a networking event, hoping to blend into the crowd?
When was the last time you volunteered to do the all-staff presentation? When was the last time you put your hand up for the promotion? When was the last time you stood up to lead a team? When was the last time you went on a date? When was the last time you stepped up to create positive change in your community?
When was the last time you stayed silent, instead of voicing what you have to offer those around you?
Whilst none of these actions are likely to kill you, they can still create a fear of threat to your career or relationships (safety and security) which may trigger your amygdala – the part of your brain that contributes to flight/fight/freeze response. So good news – you’re human!
Performing on television or the world stage, in any capacity, makes you visible.
Leading a team or organisation makes you visible.
Being the face of your business makes you visible.
Speaking up in the meeting makes you visible.
Forming new relationships makes you visible.
If you have a vision for your future that involves stepping into something bigger or bolder than you have before, it’s highly likely you are going to have to be visible. How else will anyone know who YOU are and what you have to offer? Your skills, strengths, gifts and superpowers?
I am continually working to up my game and I’ve noticed that the more visible I become, the more exposed I am to criticism and opinion. As frightening as it is (I’m human!) it’s not going to stop me moving forward, so I have to get comfortable with it.
Here are my top 5 tips on becoming more comfortable with being visible.
1. You can’t please everyone all of the time. I first leaned into this in the leadership role I held in the corporate sector. I couldn’t please everyone (as much as I wanted to!) but I could be fair and reasonable, so that’s what I focused on. With Sky High, coaching is a relationship. Sometimes I am not a fit with someone and that’s okay – there will be another coach out there who is perfect for them. Sometimes people will not agree with my messages or methodology, and that's okay too. It's all part of the rich tapestry of our community.
2. Small steps to consistency. We tend to become truly comfortable with something when we’ve performed it so many times that we no longer fear it. Take the first step – no matter how small it is – then repeat and repeat.
3. Show your passion. Let’s flick back to reality TV for a moment – those who do well on the ‘skill shows’ have a true passion for their craft. They are open to the criticism they receive, and adjust accordingly. They expand and grow – never losing sight of their passion. These are the contestants who, when they are eliminated, gush over the positivity of the experience and everything they’ve learned. They can’t wait to go home and keep working on, and in, their passion with their new skills! If you want to speak up, it's usually because you have something to share that you're passionate about. Use that passion.
4. Live aligned with your values. Do you know your top 5 values? Those most important to you right now? Uncover what these are and live your life aligned with them. You will then be living a life that’s authentic to YOU and it doesn’t matter what others think or say.
5. Design your own coping strategies. If you watched my video last week you will know I had a challenging week. Every day I was hit with something new, including comments I would not have received if I wasn’t out there being visible. The more visible I become, the more exposed I will be. On the flip side, there are people who genuinely want my help, so I’m going to keep moving forward. I called on my coping strategies last week – reaching out to my cheerleaders, meditating, walks in nature, hitting the gym, making a video(!), scheduling some last minute fun activities.
So whilst they often come under a barrage of criticism and opinion, I give a big cheer to the amateur chefs, cooks, artistic performers, renovators, tattooists and bakers battling it out on TV.
I give a big cheer to the professional athletes and performers who entertain us.
I give a big cheer to the leaders focusing on improvements for their team, organisation, community, country and sometimes the world!
Thanks for having the courage to be visible and inspiring the rest of us.
What will you do this week to be more visible?
Janelle Ryan is a Personal Coach, published author, presenter and facilitator who helps high performers create extraordinary lives. Her clients include leaders, Olympians, business owners, entrepreneurs and mums! She was announced as one of Australia's Top 10 Women Entrepreneurs by My Entrepreneur Magazine in 2017. She coaches clients by invitation and referral only.
Janelle upcoming events include her THIRSTY SOUL BALI RETREAT and ONE GOAL 6 MONTH COACHING PROGRAM
Her next workshop is titled BRING YOUR VISION TO LIFE. Limited places are still available in CAIRNS (June) and MELBOURNE (July).
Contact Janelle at firstname.lastname@example.org for further information regarding any of the above or to to find out how she can assist you or your team.