“Nah, mate. Can’t do it. I think it’s structural and I don’t want to touch it.” And with that he turned on his heel and left.
These are the words from a tradie to Handsome Hubby whilst they were standing in our completely ripped out kitchen last weekend. HH had asked the tradie to come and help him remove part of a 100-year-old kitchen flue before our new kitchen arrives next week. Tradie took one look and refused.
I, busily carting our ripped out bathroom from one end of the driveway to a skip at the other, didn’t notice until later in the morning that it all seemed a bit too quiet on the kitchen-front. Upon investigation, HH told me what had transpired. “So what’s Plan B?” I asked, fearful my new kitchen would be stalled (because, I've waited 4 years for this kitchen and I don't want it to be held up now!) “I’ll have to think of something else.” said HH calmly and joined me in the rubbish removal chore. (side note - HH was chilled - he knew the answer would come from somewhere - and it did #alwaysinflow)
Suddenly, I found myself in a pivotal moment.
There was a time when I would have not given this, what I like to call, glitch in the matrix, another thought – assuming that the ‘experts’ had assessed the situation and made the correct call. Which, I feel is important, to point out they did. By looking at the situation one way and one way only.
There was a time when I would have felt extremely resentful that I had not been asked my opinion. That voice of NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH would have reared its ugly head and there may or may have been a tantrum.
BUT that, thankfully, is not the woman I am today. I can now recognise when my old friend self-doubt (that I don’t know any better or won’t know the answer) attempts to drive my behaviour. I no longer feel it’s necessary to stay silent. And as I said earlier, I’m pretty excited by my new kitchen so was keen to keep the wheels turning in that particular room of the house.
BUT I did have to wrestle with that voice – the one that told me to be quiet, that I hadn’t been asked to contribute, to leave it to those in the ‘know’, that if those two men couldn’t see another way how would I?
Later that day I grabbed a cup of tea and took it into the kitchen. I stared at the flue (in the spirit of authenticity, I didn’t know it was called a flue – I kept referring to it as a flume!) and let my mind open. In other words, all I did was get curious. I called HH in and asked him a few structural questions.
Then I suggested another option. I asked him if this new way was possible. He looked at me and said “that’s a great idea and I think it will work”.
He did a little more assessment to be sure and we started to remove the flue 15 minutes later. We finished it the next day, covered in 100 years worth of dust and dirt and beaming with achievement. With some awesome tools, a massive mother of a drill and NO tradie.
To be clear, I was not smarter nor better than the two men who had walked away from this project not long before. I was just a different set of eyes. I was flexible and adaptable. I was open to another way. I didn’t let my self-doubt squash my curiosity (and mission for a new kitchen).
I slowed right down – for goodness sake, the idea appeared whilst I was drinking a cup of tea! I could not have been moving any slower!
Life loves throwing small and large obstacles at us. And, if you are anything like me, they can drive you crazy! “BUT THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN” we scream when we find ourselves suddenly redundant, single, sick, broke, client-less, with a broken down car or being told a big fat flue cannot be removed from our kitchen one week before the new one is due! (#mayormaynothavebeenallthesethings)
And we find ourselves in yet another pivotal moment (because my friend, it ain't gonna be your last one in this lifetime). A moment when we can revert to familiar behaviour OR expand ourselves into our next phase of US.
We can yell, scream, become angry and frustrated. Which are normal human emotions to be felt and released, so please don't suppress them. We can let our self-doubt stand in the way of our curiosity and creativeness. We can stay silent, believing that we have nothing to say of value or because it’s our place in life.
But, be mindful of this state as nothing of beauty and value will ever be created from here.
When you are ready to expand your mind to new options and create a new opportunity for yourself and your life, do so from a place of joy and beauty and fun. Take a walk in nature. Play with your kids or your dog. Listen to your favourite music. Meditate. Watch a movie. Call a friend. Kiss your partner. Enjoying yourself is where the real gold lies.
As odd as that may seem. And counter-intuitive when you think you are meant to be 'in struggle'. Pushing harder. Doing more. Running faster.
Stay curious. Remain expansive. Do things that make you happy.
Slow down and grab yourself and cuppa! You never know what new inspiration will flow in.
PS. This week I've been reading the registration forms completed by the like-minded souls attending my upcoming weekend intensive. I couldn't stop smiling because the challenges they wrote of are not individual. For each challenge or circumstance, there are one or more other attendees experiencing the same thing. Whilst we may feel alone, we never actually are and connecting people is one of my favourite things to do. If you would like to learn more about flow, removing self-doubt, gaining more confidence, speaking up, leadership and how to step into the next phase of YOU we have a few seats left. Special price for readers of this email. Details here. We'd love to see you.
Until next time,
MY MISSION is for everyone on the planet to find their VOICE, step into their POWER and SHINE their light out into the world. I do this by helping high performers expand their minds, create whatever it is they wish then lead from the front.