With the implementation of lockdowns, leading to excessive TV viewing, I've noticed the world has been taken by storm by reality TV shows. Our screens are inundated with people looking for love, creating intricate dishes in the kitchen, baking and decorating elaborate cakes, restoring homes, choosing wedding dresses, swapping husbands, losing weight, singing, dancing, creating the ultimate tattoo – it’s too long a list to mention them all!
Whilst I have very little interest in those who are searching for five minutes of fame, I do acknowledge those who are chasing a dream that takes skill, talent and passion. Think Masterchef and The Voice.
I acknowledge them for their bravery to be visible on a scale most people wouldn’t dare. They present their creations and their gifts to a panel of judges, an audience and the public and wait to be critiqued. This must take extraordinary courage.
When was the last time you had the courage to be truly visible?
// To be the first to introduce yourself at a networking event?
// To tell your boss what she’s offering is not what you need, then telling her what is?
// To enter an authentic and honest conversation with a team member addressing their performance?
// To put forth your radical idea in a team meeting?
// To say no to someone, with elegance and grace?
// To request to lead the next team project?
// To present this month’s results at the next all staff meeting?
// To create a vision for your team and communicate it with such clarity and excitement they make it their vision too?
// To step into your superior’s role whilst she’s away?
// To put your hand up for a promotion?
// To apply for that role that feels out of your league?
Leading a team or organisation makes you visible. Being the face of your business makes you visible. Speaking up in the meeting makes you visible. Applying for a promotion makes you visible. Leading the next big project makes you visible. In fact, the years 2020 and 2021 have required leaders to be more visible than previous years – some on a world scale.
For some, the fear being visible creates is too uncomfortable to step into. What if you fail, or fall, or stumble, are laughed at, or ridiculed or criticised? Or, often worst of all, what if someone doesn’t like your message, offering, idea or…. gulp…. you?
Paradoxically, staying small or silent or frozen creates discomfort too, because we are not made to sit still. It’s not our natural state.
What if you could learn to become more comfortable with the uncomfortableness of being visible? What if you could learn to step out of the shadows and show your gifts and skills and strengths? Even uncover new ones?
Great news – you can! And here are my top 5 tips on how to do so:
1. Stop worrying about what others will think. If there is one thing in the world we cannot control, it's what other people think of us. I guarantee you there are people in the world who love you, people who do not, and many more who don't know you exist. On top of that, most people are more focused on themselves, than you. Let it go. 2. Small steps to consistency. We tend to become truly comfortable with something when we’ve performed it so many times, we no longer fear it. Take the first step into the 'visibility arena' – no matter how small it is – then repeat, repeat and repeat.
3. Show your passion. Let’s flick back to reality TV for a moment – those who do well on the ‘skill shows’ have a true passion for their craft. They are open to the criticism they receive, and adjust accordingly. They expand and grow – never losing sight of their passion. These are the contestants who, when they are eliminated, gush over the positivity of the experience and everything they’ve learned. They are excited to return home and keep working on, and in, their passion with their new skills! If you have a desire to speak up or show up, it's usually because you have something to share that you're passionate about. Use that passion.
4. Live aligned with your values. Do you know your top 5 values? Those most important to you right now? Uncover what these are and live your life aligned with them. You will then be living a life that’s authentic to you and it doesn’t matter what others think or say.
5. Design your own coping strategies. Being visible exposes us to feedback we may not have requested. Whilst there are many who are interested in your thoughts and views, love to hear you speak and are excited to follow you into your vision - others may not be. Decide what your coping strategies will be if and when an unwelcome critique appears.
Whilst they often come under a barrage of criticism and opinion, I give a big cheer to the amateur chefs, cooks, artistic performers, renovators, tattooists and bakers battling it out on TV.
I give a big cheer to the leaders focusing on improvements for their team, organisation, community, country and sometimes the world!
I thank them for having the courage to be visible and inspiring the rest of us.
Would you love to spend two weeks to six months learning to become more visible? What would you create? What would you do? Who would you become, if you had a little more courage to be visible? Who would you inspire with your valiant visibility? If you would like to learn to become more visible in your business, career, your life - I have two opportunities to do that, with me as your coach, right now. You can read all about them below.
Until next time, stay happy and healthy and visible!
Opportunity 1 - Lead Yourself
Express Transformation - Two Weeks. Online. 10 x Immersive Workshops. Live or Replay. Begins 30 August. CLICK HERE to learn more.
Opportunity 2 - The Leadership Lounge
Deeper Expansion and Growth - Six Months. Zoom. Leadership coaching in a group setting. CLICK HERE to learn more. BONUS: Join by 30 August and receive Lead Yourself as my gift to you.