Over the past few months I’ve been playing around with breaking rules, being naughty and living life my way. Not in a steal-a-car kind of way, but in a not-asking-anyone-for-permission kind of way.
For example, today I gave myself permission to leave my desk and take myself out for a Friday lunch. Something I wouldn’t have given a second thought to when I was in the corporate world (long lunches were a fave of mine) but since starting my own business going out for lunch feels very decadent and almost sinful. Because to be successful you have to work LONG and HARD, right?
Wrong (but that’s for another article).
I had an errand to run so I did that first. I knew there were some eateries nearby so thought I’d just run my errand, see something that took my fancy and eat there.
Not to be.
I walked up and down past these damn eateries MULTIPLE times but nothing called out to me. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I realized I didn’t want what they were offering.
Back into the car I go.
I decided I’d drive home and something would call out to me on the way home. Some flash of inspiration.
But it didn’t. I ended up feeling confused and a bit annoyed. This was SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! And a bit naughty and a bit decadent.
Whilst paused in traffic, I saw a car pull out of a parking spot in front of a café. I took this as a sign and pulled in.
The café was lovely. I ordered some wine (naughty and decadent) and perused the menu. Nothing screamed out at me. I decided on one of the all-day-breakfast dishes, which seemed like the best option.
I turned on my Kindle and read about quantum physics (see, I’m WORKING!) whilst I sipped my wine and waited for my lunch.
When it arrived I was a little disappointed. Not in a send it back kind of way because there wasn’t actually anything WRONG with it. It was FINE and someone ELSE probably would have loved it.
I was starving, so I ate it. It was cooked well. It was okay.
But it wasn’t what I wanted.
And that was my problem.
Because there was no clarity around what I wanted, I drifted.
Because I hadn’t given myself true permission to want what I wanted, I drifted.
Because I listened to the whispers in my head telling me I SHOULD BE WORKING, I drifted.
I drifted past eateries and down roads and into a car park I had no intention of entering to ordering a meal I didn’t really want.
So I ask you……where in your life are you drifting?