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  • Janelle Ryan

Who is Ultimately Responsible for Your Life?


Last year I facilitated the most wonderful retreat on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland Australia. The year before, it was in Bali Indonesia. Earlier this year, we were in the gorgeous Yarra Valley Australia. One of my great loves is spending powerful and enlightening moments in a tree house (Sunshine Coast), or a bungalow (Bali) or a winery (Yarra Valley) with a group of women who've taken leave from work; made arrangements for the family; boarded a plane and invested emotionally, financially and physically in themselves. It is always humbling to be in the presence of women who have chosen to slow down and take some time out. Women who choose to remove themselves from their familiar surroundings so they can immerse themselves in……well, themselves. These women understand that whilst they have partners, spouses, family, friends, employers and clients THEY are ultimately responsible for their own lives. You were born with no concept of guilt. It’s why a Toddler A can hit Toddler B over the head to steal their toy truck and wander off, without one ounce of guilt. You were born with the freedom to want what you want. It’s why Toddler A stole Toddler B's toy truck in the first place. You were born with the gifts (unique to you) to create whatever it is YOU desire. And I can guarantee, without a doubt, you haven’t unwrapped all those gifts yet. Throughout our lives we receive verbal and physical cues that teach us what is acceptable in our family, workplace and community and what is not. Of course we want to teach our toddlers it’s not great to take something that isn’t ours, nor use violence to obtain it....

But when guilt holds you back from taking something your desire and deserve. When stiflingly what you want keeps you trapped in a soul-sucking job, a toxic relationship or spending all your time ‘making other people happy’. When fear stops you from stepping into something new or bigger and bolder than ever before so you never have a chance to peek inside, let alone open, your unwrapped gifts. When self-doubt robs you of using your voice and prevents you from whispering/saying/shouting THIS IS WHAT I WANT AND NEED to those in your personal and professional life. When stopping or slowing down in your life terrifies you because of what you may see if you take a look around. When you stop yourself from investing in you and your dreams because you’ve been conditioned to put yourself last. When you live your life aligned with someone else’s dreams for you, not your own. You stay frozen in familiar routines, familiar jobs, familiar relationships, familiar ‘busy-ness’, familiar habits and a familiar mindset. And sometimes that familiarity ain’t so comfortable. But it’s safe, right? Safe from feeling guilty, safe from potentially upsetting others, safe from risk, safe from failure, safe from success, safe from visibility. But here’s the kicker – living in this place tends to breed unhappiness, discontent, resentment, anger, irritation, overwhelm, stress and illness. Because of the part of you that wants more. The part of you that craves to shine. The part of you that is pushing you to expand to your full potential. The part of you that knows what you’re capable of and keeps tap, tap, tapping away. Those flashes of inspiration, great ideas and Technicolor dreams just won’t quit!! And until you honour them, they never will. Honouring them doesn’t have to mean selling all your worldly possessions, saying “See ya! I’m outta here!” to your spouse and kids and moving to the Caribbean. Don’t get me wrong, It CAN be if that’s what you wish. It can also be taking some time for yourself, going on a solo holiday, telling your boss your career aspirations, setting some boundaries around your time and energy, joining that yoga class, starting a side business, writing the book that’s been inside you for years, going on a date, exploring a more fulfilling relationship with your partner. I could go on and on, but I won't.

I invite you to lean into the knowledge that whilst we love and nurture our relationships with the people around us, in the end we are responsible for our own lives, our own careers, our own health, our own happiness.

If you'd like to begin to honour those flashes of inspiration, great ideas and Technicolor dreams, with my support; when you are ready to take the next step to expansion, creation and leadership here are a couple of ways we can work together.


1. There are limited places remaining in the 2020 SKY HIGH LEADERSHIP LOUNGE. 6 months group coaching for high performers. Past clients have stepped into a promotion, expanded their business, created more money, deepened their emotional intelligence, are more fulfilled and happier at work and are MUCH better leaders. They also forged friendships for life. We start in July. For all the info CLICK HERE.

2. If you prefer a more personal touch, there are limited places available for 1:1 PRIVATE COACHING with me. Just you and me - there's nowhere to hide. To apply CLICK HERE.


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