One Thing That's Essential to Being Understood
I'm sure it's no surprise to you that clarity in your communication is essential to being understood.
But, so often - due to fear of being disliked, rejected, being told no, upsetting someone or creating 'confrontation' - we swallow our words and stay silent (and then wonder why nothing changes #resentmentcomeonin). Or, we stumble into a conversation that goes horribly wrong (how did that happen? #goodintentions #confusion). Or, we stay silent until We Just Can't Take It Anymore and BOOM, the words fly from our mouth in anger or frustration and, Uh Oh, 'that wasn't how I wanted it to come out and now the mess has been made and I have to go back and clean it up' (#apologyrequired).
How many people have you had interaction with today? This week? This month? This year? Most of us live, work and play amongst other people. There are the people we know well; family, spouses, friends, colleagues, bosses, team members. And those we may not; your butcher, barista, the customer service representative at the other end of the phone. All interactions require communication.
We know that clear communication is paramount to living a life of harmony and happiness. If we want to belong AND honour our own needs and desires AND love and enjoy others WHILST allowing them to express and create a life aligned with their needs and desires, authentic connection is required.
It's no wonder then, that how to structure, create and step into a courageous (also referred to as authentic or assertive) conversation is one of the most common skills I am asked to assist my clients with. It makes me glow with happiness when they nail it - and they ALL do!
Charlie(names have been changed), was exhausted by the unreasonable demands placed on him by the organisation he worked for. Boundaries were required. He stepped into a courageous conversation with his boss, creating a new agreement regarding his hours. Success!
Michelle, a working mother of three, was tired of being everything to everyone. She created and leaned into courageous conversations with her partner, boss, parents, sibling and some friends. These conversations were so successful that she completely transformed from the bone-weary woman I first met to a woman filled with joy and buckets of energy!
When Geraldine approached me she was distraught and in tears. The organisation she worked for was in the middle of a restructure. Some members of her team were being let go and, as their leader, she was required to deliver the news. It was not going well. She'd received prank calls to her personal phone number. She'd been asked how she slept at night. One colleague had slammed out of her office with the parting words, 'You are inhumane'. Thankfully, a friend handed her my card and said, 'Ring this woman.' We got to work and within a few weeks she had turned this around. Yes, she was still required to let people go - the message was the same BUT the delivery was not. Extraordinary!
Kathy was new to leadership and struggling to provide her team with much needed feedback. She facilitated some courageous conversations, which resulted in bringing forth each team member's unique skills and strengths. Her team is now a joy to lead. Amazing!
Susan was stuck! She had a huge vision, one that would serve humanity, but needed millions of dollars of donations to get started. Once she learned how to create, instigate and step into a courageous conversation she never looked back - her dream is now a reality.
These are only three examples, but I have so many more. Tina, who's new relationship was about to implode - she's now married to the man with two children. Pete, who was holding back from a career he'd dreamt about as a child - is now in that career. Bianca, who allowed her family to treat her as if she was still 16 - is now being respected as an adult. Anna, who was too afraid to step into her calling for fear of judgement - is now one of the most well-known and highly respected woman in her industry. I could go on, but I won't.
Excellent verbal communication is NOT something we are all born with. But it can be learned.
And teaching others a format I've developed from a combination of management theory, personal experience, studies around connection and communication and...let's keep it real...trial and error (#imessedupalongtheway) makes my heart sing. Personal story: during a recent visit to an alternative practitioner, I received a message from Spirit teaching people to speak up was needed - that I was doing 'good' in the world and to keep going.
So here I am, offering this opportunity to you. As a gift.
If learning how to step into a courageous conversation, in any area of your life, is something you'd like to learn, with me as your coach, we will be doing this NEXT WEDNESDAY 7.30pm AEST. Details are below.
Until I see you again stay healthy and safe and I invite you to start expressing your needs and desires and/or setting boundaries - the results may surprise you!
How to Quantum Leap into a Courageous Conversation Free Online Training.
Join me for 90 minutes online and leave with:
1. An understanding of how holding back (being nice!) does not serve you, nor the other person. 2. The difference between an aggressive conversation and an assertive conversation.
3. A script for your conversation (yes, we will do this together).
4. The courage to move forward into your conversation.
We'll be doing this, via Zoom on Wednesday 26 May at 7.30pm (AEST) CLICK HERE TO REGISTER
Want more? If up-level thinking, inspirational thought and creation is something you’d love to immerse yourself in, with me as your coach, there are a couple of opportunities to do so right now. Scroll down to check them out. It all starts with one conversation. A Salon is a welcoming, safe, nurturing space where you come together with like-minded souls and leave completely transformed. You exit the doors feeling like a new, more empowered, more confident person. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE
Have you grabbed your copy of Become Extraordinary, the book, yet? This is is a book not designed to be read once and placed on a shelf. It contains Janelle's very own personal stories (some not so flattering), real client case studies (so inspirational) and activities and tools so you can begin your own adventure. CLICK HERE to order a soft copy or ebook.