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Is Fear Destroying your Dreams?

In 2014 I decided to leave my secure full time professional role to dedicate my time to Sky High Coaching. I knew my passion was no longer in management, but more towards helping others gain clarity around their ideal lifestyle and career and achieve their own goals. Sky High Coaching had been 18 months in the making and I had a respectable client list, but my full time role was hindering me from doing what I truly loved.

I called a Finance Meeting at home (with my husband). After analysing some numbers and considering the type of lifestyle we wanted for ourselves and our family we decided it was a viable concept. He left it up to me to make the final decision but assured me he was fully supportive.

It took me five days after that conversation to finally resign from the organisation I’d been with for eight years but I was so happy I did.

To show respect, and give him time to recruit, I gave my boss eight weeks notice. For the first three weeks, I was walking on air. I felt free and alive and excited. My colleagues were delighted for me and went out of their way to congratulate me for making such a “brave” choice. They became more curious about the business and quite a few became clients.

In the fourth week I noticed my thoughts were becoming quite negative.

I started to feel fearful and anxious.

The nervousness just crept in a tiny bit at first so I found it quite easy to ignore. But by the sixth week it had grown. What was I doing? Was I crazy? Why was a leaving a secure position where I earned a decent salary? Where would my superannuation come from? How long would my husband be able to support us? What if he lost his job? And so on and so on.

I held the thoughts at bay by telling myself that if I needed to get another job in the future, I would go and do that. So then my mind sent in the big guns.

That would mean I'd FAILED! Ouch.

Out of curiosity more than anything (I'd already resigned, I couldn't take it back) I decided to pay close attention to my current, fearful thoughts.

I realised not once did my thoughts move to sadness about leaving the role or the organisation. I would still see the colleagues I considered friends so leaving the people wasn’t a concern. I had been in the role for eight years and felt proud of my achievements. All my “unhelpful” thoughts were about money and future finances.

My mind was telling me that to leave my role, or my comfort zone, was “unsafe”. My mind was actually performing it's role - it was trying to keep me safe.

My negative thoughts were all about security and safety. Once I realised this I acknowledged them, understood where they were coming from, recognised them for being normal and moved forward.

The next thing I did was find some time to sit in silence and clear my mind.

I’m certainly no Zen master, so this can be difficult for me, but as long as I sit quietly and allow my thoughts to come and go (without giving them an attention) eventually I find a tranquil place. Then I wait for a message from my soul or heart or spirit (insert your own word here) and the one I kept receiving was that “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be”.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know I’m completely happy where I am right now.

Fear of change can be completely debilitating and in many cases stops us from pursuing a dream, desire or a goal.

If you have been dreaming of something that you just can't make happen, or you'd like to learn more about how our sneaky brain uses fear and self doubt to stop us moving forward, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:

I LOVE this workshop - we really get into our fearful thoughts - why we have them, where they have come from and best of all - how to eliminate them for good!

You will leave with a plan to move forward - action you can take the MOMENT you leave the workshop.

I hope to see you there!

Janelle x

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